oncedevil | IC Inbox/Answering machine

[While it's tempting to cut himself away entirely and pretend he didn't get the message, but that's unfair to Nux. He didn't do anything, and Tony kind of left him high and dry.

But he's tough, he's got his Numbers and his purpose now, he'll be alright.]

That's all they're saying, huh?

Misa wouldn't say anything, Lazarus is hungover and also won't say anything. Nathan is just... not happy about the party in general, looks like.

Uh, aren't you my friend? Why would you leave without saying anything? Everyone else knows what's going on and I was feeding the animals so I missed it. Not my fault.

I'm kinda surprised she hasn't been going out of her way to paint me as many nasty colors as she pleases.

[Of course the party was a bust and Tony knows full well it's his fault entirely. Had Ryuzaki only waited a couple more days to make a fuss, the terrible party could've been avoided. Ah well, can't turn back time.]

Sorry man, it's nothing to do with you but I couldn't stick around any longer. It was made abundantly clear to me that I've over stayed my welcome.

No, no it is something to do with me. It's my fault, isn't it? I'm... I'm sorry, whatever I did.

What? Nux, don't be ridiculous. You're fine, you haven't done anything wrong. Why the hell would you think it was you?

Well, then who did it? Whose fault is it?

[He's quite for a while.

Sure, he could lay the blame on Misa but honestly he knows that's not the case, and now that he's had a tiny bit of time to calm down he's level headed enough to know that isn't fair.

But that doesn't mean he hasn't already torched the hell out of those bridges.]

...Mine.

Then say you're sorry. Come back. This isn't fair, w-we all have people who rely on us.

You can still make the end of Nathan's party if you h-hurry.

Edited 2015-08-30 01:16 (UTC)

It's not that easy. If I showed up now, it wouldn't go over well.

Besides, like I said, it's been made pretty damned clear I've overstayed my welcome. No one's relying on me, not anymore. You? You do good work, you look after everyone.

Me? Well I'm just a liability, but I knew it wasn't going to last going in.

You... you don't know that. They could be happy to see you, they're... n-not happy without you.

Did you h-hurt someone?

'Cept I do know that. Yeah, right, Misa's probably throwin' fucking streamers around, not having to deal with the crybaby anymore. Pfeh.

No, but I wanted to, and that's enough.

Hey, d-don't be mean about it. She's not d-doing that. I know because I'm, uh, I'm actually here.

This is all wrong.

[He just makes a disgruntled grumbling sound, grinding his teeth.]

Look, I can't go back.

B-because of something you did, because you say so. I h-haven't heard anyone else say you c-can't come back.

Edited 2015-08-30 20:11 (UTC)

Why don't you try asking them.

They're afraid of me, they think I'm going to snap and break someone. Maybe I will, hell if I know. It's better this way.

Again I th-think this is your words and not theirs. No one's afr-fraid of you.

Bullshit. [He spits the word like acid.] You don't see the way they flinch.

[He probably definitely is making it worse in his mind than it is, but he's always done that. Ever since he was little these things start to run away with him when left unchecked for too long.

And there's a whole lot here going unchecked.]

Wait, who flinched? Some people just flinch when they're startled.

D-don't make this bigger than it is.

Lazarus flinches.

[Pretty freaking often, actually. And Nathan but at least Nathan flinches at everything.]

It's too late for that.

[An uncertain pause. Well, shit, how does Nux go about fixing that?]

Uh, I can see h-how you might take that really personally, but uh. I've seen him flinch at loud sounds, him and Nathan both. T-try not to, if you can.

[Yeah. It's a little different than just random strangers, though those would get annoying as well. They wouldn't affect him quite so deeply.]

Not like this he doesn't. There's a difference between startled and 'I legitimately think you're going to break me'.

I'm really sorry. I wasn't there b-but. Uh. Like, this change is scary to you, isn't it? It's not the same but when Albero was doing all that stuff to me to make me like a lizard, uh, that was scary t-too.

Not saying it's your fault, but if it's scary to you, it might be scary to other people too. Nothing p-personal.

Saying it isn't personal doesn't make it true. Might not be on purpose but it still happens, and I'm still involved. Besides, doesn't that just prove I should go?

Either way it doesn't matter. I can't stop it and getting told I'm weak and a coward doesn't exactly fucking help. So sorry I'm such a piece of shit and having some trouble dealing with this.

Hang on. Uh, I'm sorry. I mean... shit I didn't mean to make you mad. Screw Lazarus, he shouldn't have done that.

It's not- no don't. Look I just...

[A frustrated sound.]

It isn't his fault. He's got a new family I can't expect him to waste any more time on me. I can't expect that of anyone.

It was never gonna last, Nux. I've always been alone that's just how things are.

Look after everyone would you?

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