[L hears that hurt, and it scares him as much as it confuses him.]
Cesar wouldn't do that. I asked him specifically not to approach you after he saved me... I didn't want anyone else to be hurt. Not either of you...
[It's an earth-shattering revelation. Has he just spent a week in a hotel room with someone who isn't actually Cesar? He's not sure which possibility is more horrifying.]
Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake. I must have imagined crawling out of my skin for days.
[Sorry L he's still furious and fighting with so many conflicting feelings that he's not sure where to land. Lately it's been landing squarely on "lash out at everything" because that's the only thing that gives him some small amount of relief.
[Ouch. That stings, on top of the horrifying implications about this Cesar that are creeping into the picture like maggots from a corpse.]
I'm not saying you imagined anything! Don't put words in my mouth. And for crying out loud, cut me some slack; your double hit me so hard that I couldn't dial a phone number until a few days ago.
Even before I knew about them, I insisted that it couldn't have been you, that something had to be wrong. Thanks a lot for being just as charitable with my perceived intentions.
[He snaps, there's an audible growl and a muffled thump from his phone being roughly tossed to the side. He needs a moment, it's been a right shit month, a right shit several months and he's really at the end of his rope.
He may have a strong back but even Tony has limits of how much he can carry.
A few moments and he's retrieved the phone.]
Sorry.
[Only for snapping not for accusing Cesar.]
I would have come to talk to you, but your friend got to me first. Figured it's better I just stay away from everyone lately. Getting the raw end of the deal for a lot of shit.
[While Tony is pulling his shit together, L's attempting to do the same, sitting on the edge of his hotel bed with his head in his hands. He picks up the phone again when he hears Tony's apology.]
No need to be.
I told him because I was trying to figure out what to do. I thought that my friend had bashed my head in, wrapped me up in duct tape, and thrown me in a closet where I spent two days bleeding and pissing on myself. I was in rough shape when he found me. He was so gentle and understanding. I thought your echoes might have been responsible for your actions... I didn't find out about the doubles until relatively late in the game. I just knew that something was wrong.
[There's kind of a grumbling disgruntled sound. He's dropped the phone again, but this time on himself so he can run his hands through his hair and threaten to pull it out for a few moments. The pressure helps, something to focus on that isn't this whole awful screwed up mess.]
I didn't find out until Nathan ripped me a new one about it. I mistook him in Germany, ended up getting drug to a bar. Something was weird but I didn't want to leave him by himself.
[A sigh.]
Fuck this month, L.
[He picks the phone back up.]
Are you alright now? I wish I could've helped...
[Cesar being gentle and understanding doesn't sound particularly off, but shoving a bat in his face does. He can't tell the difference yet.]
[It feels like the room is spinning, even though he's sitting and he's been over the dizziness associated with his concussion for awhile now. For a second he thinks he's going to be sick, but the wave passes uneasily and he sounds hoarse when he speaks.]
My head's better, but I'm pretty far from OK.
He'll be back soon. I think he was going to get dinner. What do I do?
[He thinks back to every second with Cesar over the last week, every moment of comfort and kindness, every embrace and gentle word. This time he can't fight it; he's scrambling for the ice bucket.]
[Of course he is, if this is the copy (and even if not, if this is the same one that went after Tony...) then L might be in danger. It's hard to say, harder to know what the hell is going on.]
Don't tell him you spoke with me, don't tell him anything. Dude's nuts, but you're in the best position to find out what he's after. And if you leave, he'll be suspicious.
[More like dry-heaving and retching. In hindsight it is obvious, isn't it? He'd chalked it up to Cesar being concerned for him, caring for him as a friend and lover and stepping up in a moment of crisis. The fact that it was extreme, even for a crisis, was easily overlooked because for the most part, it had been pleasant to think that he was cherished so much. It had been easy to nestle into that patient, kind embrace and demonstrate his gratitude both verbally and physically, depending on the moment and the mood.]
I've...
[He sets aside the bucket, shuddering, voice sounding raw.]
I've been with him for days. He's been taking care of me while I recover, in a hotel. I was attacked in the school and I didn't think it would be safe, but...
[He trails off. He feels like such a fool.]
I'll try. I'll do my best. I'll stay and find out what I can.
[He feels like he's been punched in the chest when he thinks about Cesar's warm brown eyes and warmer embrace, both of which he'll have to deal with shortly. If he can in fact succeed, it'll be barely, and it'll tear him to shreds repeatedly.]
[This is hard, not a situation Tony knows how to deal with in the slightest. Keeping L safe is the most important thing, but what will keep him safe? Staying and trying to pretend there isn't something wrong, or running somewhere far away?
Did he just give terrible advice.
He might be angry but it's really with the situation as a whole, and not L specifically. Now that he knows what happened and why he can't stay angry with L.]
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you should go somewhere. Far away and safe, get away from him? I don't know L, if you need somewhere to hide...
[Richard might still be a little annoyed but he would understand wouldn't he? Or hell, even Shou.]
Shou doesn't have a double, far as I can tell. I don't think Cesar can get through a vampire.
[At this point, L is cowed and terrified to think of what keeping it a secret would entail, and what it would do to him. Is he supposed to meet Cesar's eyes, smile, feel his arms around him, and not shatter into a thousand pieces? Tony might as well have asked him to jump out the window and fly three times around the hotel.
Tony's suggestions are all too abrupt and extreme. He's still processing this, things he's done with Cesar and said to him that apparently don't count, and he's too shell-shocked to immediately make plans to leave. It feels just as unthinkable as staying with the person who tried to make the real Tony pay for the sins of his double.]
Tony!
[His voice is panicked and sharper than he intended it to sound. He tries to gentle it down a little before he speaks again, but his heart is pounding in his chest, feeling significantly crushed.]
Tony, I... thought a lot of things, before you told me this information. I need a little while, I'm... sorry.
[He sounds doubtful and worried, but it's better than the cold suspicion of earlier? He is worried, terrified, what might the doppel do to L if he figures it out? If L slips up? Would he hurt him? He sure didn't seem to mind trying to knock Tony around, but he's got a healthy sense of self-preservation when a demon starts rampaging.
L doesn't have the ability to throw around chunks of metal like they weigh nothing, though.]
Just... be safe, okay? I'm sorry.
[Please don't die, L, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.]
I haven't exactly worked out the details yet. I have to leave, obviously, but it has to be done right... I didn't want to say this before, but he's been treating me like... not badly. But like a possession. I might actually be a prisoner and I haven't been brave enough to test that yet.
Be careful, but don't lock your trust down just because someone abused it. You have people who will help you and as soon as I'm out of this, I'll continue to be one of them.
[That's a tricky situation, and as much as Tony would like to go help he realizes that he'd probably only exacerbate the situation. Especially given the doppel's hostility towards him, it would be better if he kept his head low while L got somewhere safe.
As infuriating as that is.]
Hn... Being too trusting is what got me into a lot of messes you know, but I get what you're saying.
[Doesn't mean he likes it, or that he can necessarily just switch his brain over on command.]
You need anything let me know, but make sure I know it's you.
Don't blame yourself too much, dude, I fell for it too. Usually I'm pretty good at figuring people out, but these copies really threw me for a loop. Thought something was going on with my friends, you know?
[Technically something was, just not at all what he expected. How do you expect sudden clones with distorted personalities?]
Eeesh, [L can't see it, but there's a definite wince.] Just let me know. Maybe I can do something too, I mean the eye patch is kind of a give away.
[......On second thought, the doppel just outed him for having a healed eye didn't he? Damn.]
It's beginning to look like a lot of people fell for it. And with my history, I can't really be angry... I've no doubt that it looked like a lot of potential things that could have been wrong.
[Miserably, this is something he's aware of and he can't deny. It's the worst thing by far about suffering from his brand of ailments; they are poorly understood and present unpredictably, making it easy for an imposter to make him seem like he's suffering a break, rather than being replaced entirely.
He swallows, trying to keep the raw, painful lump in his throat from coming through too noticeably. It's very likely that he fails utterly.]
I'm going to give it some thought, I... might as well try to take my mind off of the fact that I haven't been with Cesar this last week.
[But honestly how likely was anyone to jump to the doppelganger conclusion? A lot of weird stuff happens, sure, but clones? That's a leap a little too far for logic. Even so, Tony feels bad he didn't catch on right away. He feels like he knows L rather well but that... that was a mess.
And yeah, he does, but Tony won't pry for now.]
Yeah... say, let me know if you need anything, alright? Use my phone, the copy doesn't have access to it.
[His voice sounds weak and wavery. He doesn't want to say what he's thinking: that it was all so good while it lasted, even when it started to get stifling and a little bit scary. He has never been loved like Cesar's double loved him.]
I'm going to kill my doppelganger if he even touched Cesar. I'll choke the life out of him.
[The details are lost on Tony, but he knows it has to be a struggle for so many reasons. Perhaps later, like so many other things, they'll examine it and sort it out, but not now while it's raw and fresh and hurting.
Later when the scars have had time to cover the wounds.]
I know you're pissed, and I can't blame you for it in the least. But Try to keep a cool head over this, alright? Don't do something you're going to regret later.
I think if anything, I'll regret not doing anything. I feel like I need to see him die before I'll feel anything like peace. I've never been angry like this before.
I understand, trust me man I know, but let's take it one step at a time. Alright? Besides, who even knows where the idiot's run off to?
[He'd tell L to relax but that probably wouldn't help right now. He's worried, very worried, about what L might do right now. What can he do to stop it though? ...Can he even really blame him if he goes through with it?
Understanding is the best gift you could give me right now. I need to remember that. I need to be grateful, and I'm sorry if I sound like I am less than.
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Cesar wouldn't do that. I asked him specifically not to approach you after he saved me... I didn't want anyone else to be hurt. Not either of you...
[It's an earth-shattering revelation. Has he just spent a week in a hotel room with someone who isn't actually Cesar? He's not sure which possibility is more horrifying.]
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[Sorry L he's still furious and fighting with so many conflicting feelings that he's not sure where to land. Lately it's been landing squarely on "lash out at everything" because that's the only thing that gives him some small amount of relief.
Even if only temporary.]
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I'm not saying you imagined anything! Don't put words in my mouth. And for crying out loud, cut me some slack; your double hit me so hard that I couldn't dial a phone number until a few days ago.
Even before I knew about them, I insisted that it couldn't have been you, that something had to be wrong. Thanks a lot for being just as charitable with my perceived intentions.
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[He snaps, there's an audible growl and a muffled thump from his phone being roughly tossed to the side. He needs a moment, it's been a right shit month, a right shit several months and he's really at the end of his rope.
He may have a strong back but even Tony has limits of how much he can carry.
A few moments and he's retrieved the phone.]
Sorry.
[Only for snapping not for accusing Cesar.]
I would have come to talk to you, but your friend got to me first. Figured it's better I just stay away from everyone lately. Getting the raw end of the deal for a lot of shit.
Why did you tell him what I am?
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No need to be.
I told him because I was trying to figure out what to do. I thought that my friend had bashed my head in, wrapped me up in duct tape, and thrown me in a closet where I spent two days bleeding and pissing on myself. I was in rough shape when he found me. He was so gentle and understanding. I thought your echoes might have been responsible for your actions... I didn't find out about the doubles until relatively late in the game. I just knew that something was wrong.
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I didn't find out until Nathan ripped me a new one about it. I mistook him in Germany, ended up getting drug to a bar. Something was weird but I didn't want to leave him by himself.
[A sigh.]
Fuck this month, L.
[He picks the phone back up.]
Are you alright now? I wish I could've helped...
[Cesar being gentle and understanding doesn't sound particularly off, but shoving a bat in his face does. He can't tell the difference yet.]
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My head's better, but I'm pretty far from OK.
He'll be back soon. I think he was going to get dinner. What do I do?
[He thinks back to every second with Cesar over the last week, every moment of comfort and kindness, every embrace and gentle word. This time he can't fight it; he's scrambling for the ice bucket.]
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[Of course he is, if this is the copy (and even if not, if this is the same one that went after Tony...) then L might be in danger. It's hard to say, harder to know what the hell is going on.]
Don't tell him you spoke with me, don't tell him anything. Dude's nuts, but you're in the best position to find out what he's after. And if you leave, he'll be suspicious.
L--?
[Is he vomiting? This is not a good situation.]
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I've...
[He sets aside the bucket, shuddering, voice sounding raw.]
I've been with him for days. He's been taking care of me while I recover, in a hotel. I was attacked in the school and I didn't think it would be safe, but...
[He trails off. He feels like such a fool.]
I'll try. I'll do my best. I'll stay and find out what I can.
[He feels like he's been punched in the chest when he thinks about Cesar's warm brown eyes and warmer embrace, both of which he'll have to deal with shortly. If he can in fact succeed, it'll be barely, and it'll tear him to shreds repeatedly.]
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Did he just give terrible advice.
He might be angry but it's really with the situation as a whole, and not L specifically. Now that he knows what happened and why he can't stay angry with L.]
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you should go somewhere. Far away and safe, get away from him? I don't know L, if you need somewhere to hide...
[Richard might still be a little annoyed but he would understand wouldn't he? Or hell, even Shou.]
Shou doesn't have a double, far as I can tell. I don't think Cesar can get through a vampire.
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Tony's suggestions are all too abrupt and extreme. He's still processing this, things he's done with Cesar and said to him that apparently don't count, and he's too shell-shocked to immediately make plans to leave. It feels just as unthinkable as staying with the person who tried to make the real Tony pay for the sins of his double.]
Tony!
[His voice is panicked and sharper than he intended it to sound. He tries to gentle it down a little before he speaks again, but his heart is pounding in his chest, feeling significantly crushed.]
Tony, I... thought a lot of things, before you told me this information. I need a little while, I'm... sorry.
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[He sounds doubtful and worried, but it's better than the cold suspicion of earlier? He is worried, terrified, what might the doppel do to L if he figures it out? If L slips up? Would he hurt him? He sure didn't seem to mind trying to knock Tony around, but he's got a healthy sense of self-preservation when a demon starts rampaging.
L doesn't have the ability to throw around chunks of metal like they weigh nothing, though.]
Just... be safe, okay? I'm sorry.
[Please don't die, L, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.]
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It's OK, Tony. I think I have it figured out. I know what to do, at least for now. I'll put together the rest as I go.
I can't tell you how many ways this is fucked up, but whatever happens I'll stay safe. You do the same.
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What are you going to do?
It is, man, I know. But I can't trust anyone right now you understand, that trap really did a number on me.
[And now that he's damn near immortal he'd like to keep it that way for a little while thank you.]
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Be careful, but don't lock your trust down just because someone abused it. You have people who will help you and as soon as I'm out of this, I'll continue to be one of them.
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[That's a tricky situation, and as much as Tony would like to go help he realizes that he'd probably only exacerbate the situation. Especially given the doppel's hostility towards him, it would be better if he kept his head low while L got somewhere safe.
As infuriating as that is.]
Hn... Being too trusting is what got me into a lot of messes you know, but I get what you're saying.
[Doesn't mean he likes it, or that he can necessarily just switch his brain over on command.]
You need anything let me know, but make sure I know it's you.
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[It's like a knife is twisting in his gut, every time he thinks about how secure and loved Cesar's doppelganger has made him feel.]
You'll know. I'm going to find a way to make it more obvious and permanent... for now, the bruise on my face should suffice.
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[Technically something was, just not at all what he expected. How do you expect sudden clones with distorted personalities?]
Eeesh, [L can't see it, but there's a definite wince.] Just let me know. Maybe I can do something too, I mean the eye patch is kind of a give away.
[......On second thought, the doppel just outed him for having a healed eye didn't he? Damn.]
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[Miserably, this is something he's aware of and he can't deny. It's the worst thing by far about suffering from his brand of ailments; they are poorly understood and present unpredictably, making it easy for an imposter to make him seem like he's suffering a break, rather than being replaced entirely.
He swallows, trying to keep the raw, painful lump in his throat from coming through too noticeably. It's very likely that he fails utterly.]
I'm going to give it some thought, I... might as well try to take my mind off of the fact that I haven't been with Cesar this last week.
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[But honestly how likely was anyone to jump to the doppelganger conclusion? A lot of weird stuff happens, sure, but clones? That's a leap a little too far for logic. Even so, Tony feels bad he didn't catch on right away. He feels like he knows L rather well but that... that was a mess.
And yeah, he does, but Tony won't pry for now.]
Yeah... say, let me know if you need anything, alright? Use my phone, the copy doesn't have access to it.
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[His voice sounds weak and wavery. He doesn't want to say what he's thinking: that it was all so good while it lasted, even when it started to get stifling and a little bit scary. He has never been loved like Cesar's double loved him.]
I'm going to kill my doppelganger if he even touched Cesar. I'll choke the life out of him.
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Later when the scars have had time to cover the wounds.]
I know you're pissed, and I can't blame you for it in the least. But Try to keep a cool head over this, alright? Don't do something you're going to regret later.
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[He'd tell L to relax but that probably wouldn't help right now. He's worried, very worried, about what L might do right now. What can he do to stop it though? ...Can he even really blame him if he goes through with it?
No. Not even a little.]
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