[At this point, L is cowed and terrified to think of what keeping it a secret would entail, and what it would do to him. Is he supposed to meet Cesar's eyes, smile, feel his arms around him, and not shatter into a thousand pieces? Tony might as well have asked him to jump out the window and fly three times around the hotel.
Tony's suggestions are all too abrupt and extreme. He's still processing this, things he's done with Cesar and said to him that apparently don't count, and he's too shell-shocked to immediately make plans to leave. It feels just as unthinkable as staying with the person who tried to make the real Tony pay for the sins of his double.]
Tony!
[His voice is panicked and sharper than he intended it to sound. He tries to gentle it down a little before he speaks again, but his heart is pounding in his chest, feeling significantly crushed.]
Tony, I... thought a lot of things, before you told me this information. I need a little while, I'm... sorry.
[He sounds doubtful and worried, but it's better than the cold suspicion of earlier? He is worried, terrified, what might the doppel do to L if he figures it out? If L slips up? Would he hurt him? He sure didn't seem to mind trying to knock Tony around, but he's got a healthy sense of self-preservation when a demon starts rampaging.
L doesn't have the ability to throw around chunks of metal like they weigh nothing, though.]
Just... be safe, okay? I'm sorry.
[Please don't die, L, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.]
I haven't exactly worked out the details yet. I have to leave, obviously, but it has to be done right... I didn't want to say this before, but he's been treating me like... not badly. But like a possession. I might actually be a prisoner and I haven't been brave enough to test that yet.
Be careful, but don't lock your trust down just because someone abused it. You have people who will help you and as soon as I'm out of this, I'll continue to be one of them.
[That's a tricky situation, and as much as Tony would like to go help he realizes that he'd probably only exacerbate the situation. Especially given the doppel's hostility towards him, it would be better if he kept his head low while L got somewhere safe.
As infuriating as that is.]
Hn... Being too trusting is what got me into a lot of messes you know, but I get what you're saying.
[Doesn't mean he likes it, or that he can necessarily just switch his brain over on command.]
You need anything let me know, but make sure I know it's you.
Don't blame yourself too much, dude, I fell for it too. Usually I'm pretty good at figuring people out, but these copies really threw me for a loop. Thought something was going on with my friends, you know?
[Technically something was, just not at all what he expected. How do you expect sudden clones with distorted personalities?]
Eeesh, [L can't see it, but there's a definite wince.] Just let me know. Maybe I can do something too, I mean the eye patch is kind of a give away.
[......On second thought, the doppel just outed him for having a healed eye didn't he? Damn.]
It's beginning to look like a lot of people fell for it. And with my history, I can't really be angry... I've no doubt that it looked like a lot of potential things that could have been wrong.
[Miserably, this is something he's aware of and he can't deny. It's the worst thing by far about suffering from his brand of ailments; they are poorly understood and present unpredictably, making it easy for an imposter to make him seem like he's suffering a break, rather than being replaced entirely.
He swallows, trying to keep the raw, painful lump in his throat from coming through too noticeably. It's very likely that he fails utterly.]
I'm going to give it some thought, I... might as well try to take my mind off of the fact that I haven't been with Cesar this last week.
[But honestly how likely was anyone to jump to the doppelganger conclusion? A lot of weird stuff happens, sure, but clones? That's a leap a little too far for logic. Even so, Tony feels bad he didn't catch on right away. He feels like he knows L rather well but that... that was a mess.
And yeah, he does, but Tony won't pry for now.]
Yeah... say, let me know if you need anything, alright? Use my phone, the copy doesn't have access to it.
[His voice sounds weak and wavery. He doesn't want to say what he's thinking: that it was all so good while it lasted, even when it started to get stifling and a little bit scary. He has never been loved like Cesar's double loved him.]
I'm going to kill my doppelganger if he even touched Cesar. I'll choke the life out of him.
[The details are lost on Tony, but he knows it has to be a struggle for so many reasons. Perhaps later, like so many other things, they'll examine it and sort it out, but not now while it's raw and fresh and hurting.
Later when the scars have had time to cover the wounds.]
I know you're pissed, and I can't blame you for it in the least. But Try to keep a cool head over this, alright? Don't do something you're going to regret later.
I think if anything, I'll regret not doing anything. I feel like I need to see him die before I'll feel anything like peace. I've never been angry like this before.
I understand, trust me man I know, but let's take it one step at a time. Alright? Besides, who even knows where the idiot's run off to?
[He'd tell L to relax but that probably wouldn't help right now. He's worried, very worried, about what L might do right now. What can he do to stop it though? ...Can he even really blame him if he goes through with it?
Understanding is the best gift you could give me right now. I need to remember that. I need to be grateful, and I'm sorry if I sound like I am less than.
[He is hurting. And it is a bitch to admit it, but he swallows. Tony's right, and what's more, Tony's being a hell of a rock in this situation when L desperately needs one to cling to.]
Yeah, you're right. I'll pull it together. We're back to this sink or swim business, and I want to swim.
[Tony would like to think he knows L pretty well at this point, and he can tell when he's hurting. But this? Hell, someone would have to be a machine to not be given everything that's happened.
But he also knows L will come through, he just needs a hand every now and then.]
I know you will. Just remember, brother, we're in this together alright? You call me if you need anything I don't care how stupid you think it is. Through thick and thin, right?
[What else is there to say? It's tough. Right now all he wants in the world is for that incredible feeling to come back and stay, living like a warm, glowing light in his bony chest.
When he does think of something, though, it is a comfort to know that someone will be there to at least light a candle in the cold dark he's been left with.]
Alright. Stay in touch. I'm going to try to catch a nap before all hell breaks loose in the meantime.
[He needs some rest every now and then. Not that he gets nearly enough these days.
But no, L won't be left to the cold all alone. Tony will light a fire for him, or a candle to guide the way. No one can say he isn't reliable at the very least.]
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Tony's suggestions are all too abrupt and extreme. He's still processing this, things he's done with Cesar and said to him that apparently don't count, and he's too shell-shocked to immediately make plans to leave. It feels just as unthinkable as staying with the person who tried to make the real Tony pay for the sins of his double.]
Tony!
[His voice is panicked and sharper than he intended it to sound. He tries to gentle it down a little before he speaks again, but his heart is pounding in his chest, feeling significantly crushed.]
Tony, I... thought a lot of things, before you told me this information. I need a little while, I'm... sorry.
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[He sounds doubtful and worried, but it's better than the cold suspicion of earlier? He is worried, terrified, what might the doppel do to L if he figures it out? If L slips up? Would he hurt him? He sure didn't seem to mind trying to knock Tony around, but he's got a healthy sense of self-preservation when a demon starts rampaging.
L doesn't have the ability to throw around chunks of metal like they weigh nothing, though.]
Just... be safe, okay? I'm sorry.
[Please don't die, L, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.]
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It's OK, Tony. I think I have it figured out. I know what to do, at least for now. I'll put together the rest as I go.
I can't tell you how many ways this is fucked up, but whatever happens I'll stay safe. You do the same.
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What are you going to do?
It is, man, I know. But I can't trust anyone right now you understand, that trap really did a number on me.
[And now that he's damn near immortal he'd like to keep it that way for a little while thank you.]
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Be careful, but don't lock your trust down just because someone abused it. You have people who will help you and as soon as I'm out of this, I'll continue to be one of them.
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[That's a tricky situation, and as much as Tony would like to go help he realizes that he'd probably only exacerbate the situation. Especially given the doppel's hostility towards him, it would be better if he kept his head low while L got somewhere safe.
As infuriating as that is.]
Hn... Being too trusting is what got me into a lot of messes you know, but I get what you're saying.
[Doesn't mean he likes it, or that he can necessarily just switch his brain over on command.]
You need anything let me know, but make sure I know it's you.
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[It's like a knife is twisting in his gut, every time he thinks about how secure and loved Cesar's doppelganger has made him feel.]
You'll know. I'm going to find a way to make it more obvious and permanent... for now, the bruise on my face should suffice.
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[Technically something was, just not at all what he expected. How do you expect sudden clones with distorted personalities?]
Eeesh, [L can't see it, but there's a definite wince.] Just let me know. Maybe I can do something too, I mean the eye patch is kind of a give away.
[......On second thought, the doppel just outed him for having a healed eye didn't he? Damn.]
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[Miserably, this is something he's aware of and he can't deny. It's the worst thing by far about suffering from his brand of ailments; they are poorly understood and present unpredictably, making it easy for an imposter to make him seem like he's suffering a break, rather than being replaced entirely.
He swallows, trying to keep the raw, painful lump in his throat from coming through too noticeably. It's very likely that he fails utterly.]
I'm going to give it some thought, I... might as well try to take my mind off of the fact that I haven't been with Cesar this last week.
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[But honestly how likely was anyone to jump to the doppelganger conclusion? A lot of weird stuff happens, sure, but clones? That's a leap a little too far for logic. Even so, Tony feels bad he didn't catch on right away. He feels like he knows L rather well but that... that was a mess.
And yeah, he does, but Tony won't pry for now.]
Yeah... say, let me know if you need anything, alright? Use my phone, the copy doesn't have access to it.
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[His voice sounds weak and wavery. He doesn't want to say what he's thinking: that it was all so good while it lasted, even when it started to get stifling and a little bit scary. He has never been loved like Cesar's double loved him.]
I'm going to kill my doppelganger if he even touched Cesar. I'll choke the life out of him.
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Later when the scars have had time to cover the wounds.]
I know you're pissed, and I can't blame you for it in the least. But Try to keep a cool head over this, alright? Don't do something you're going to regret later.
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[He'd tell L to relax but that probably wouldn't help right now. He's worried, very worried, about what L might do right now. What can he do to stop it though? ...Can he even really blame him if he goes through with it?
No. Not even a little.]
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Yeah, you're right. I'll pull it together. We're back to this sink or swim business, and I want to swim.
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But he also knows L will come through, he just needs a hand every now and then.]
I know you will. Just remember, brother, we're in this together alright? You call me if you need anything I don't care how stupid you think it is. Through thick and thin, right?
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[What else is there to say? It's tough. Right now all he wants in the world is for that incredible feeling to come back and stay, living like a warm, glowing light in his bony chest.
When he does think of something, though, it is a comfort to know that someone will be there to at least light a candle in the cold dark he's been left with.]
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[He needs some rest every now and then. Not that he gets nearly enough these days.
But no, L won't be left to the cold all alone. Tony will light a fire for him, or a candle to guide the way. No one can say he isn't reliable at the very least.]