oncedevil | IC Inbox/Answering machine

How do you know?

I know you! Besides, no one wants to exile themselves. Don't be stupid!

Yeah well, we don't usually get what we want.

That's an OK thing to say when life is throwing shit at you. Not when you can control what happens!

And how long do you think that'll last? It doesn't last. It's gonna go to shit one way or another, this way it's on my terms.

You don't know that Tony. You're just using it as an excuse to run away!

I do know that, it's already starting. Besides, I might as well keep doing the one thing I'm good at.

[Which is running away.]

What are you talking about? I've never seen you run away, even when things were really bad!

[He barks a bitter, rueful laugh.]

I used to run away all the time, don't you remember the story? I've been trying to be something I'm not, and surprise surprise it ain't workin' out.

I've seen you save people. Don't talk like that when we know it's not true, Tony.

Like I said, trying to be something I'm not. It was fun while it lasted, really thought I could be something for a change.

But sometimes you don't get to make that choice.

You get to make that choice! If I could, you can, and I've actually killed people!

I've ripped out a woman's throat with my teeth.

[He's a little surprised Nux has actually killed anyone though.]

I've turned on my friends before. You think it won't happen again?

[Other people get redemption not him. That's not how it works.]

That... that was uh, that was different. I remember that. It was when I was still with Albero and everyone was talking about the transformation that let you escape.

Is it though? I tore her to shreds. And I don't even remember how many other assholes who got in my way before I ran out of steam. I would have done the same to you had Shou and Hajime not intervened.

[It's not exactly something he has a good handle on by any stretch.]

Uh, n-no one else got in the way. It's how Lazarus could carry you out. You never wondered about that?

After the first bite, all I saw was blood. I don't remember anything past that.

{he doesn't even really remember the hospital. There was a point that he and Lazarus got into a fight? But even that memory is faint and lacks detail, like a dream.]

Everyone was scared and uh, that's how you guys escaped. I don't know what happened after that but I remember him running out the door with you over his back.

Huh. Well, anyway, the point still stands.

[He ripped the snake woman to pieces and tried to tear Shou apart too.]

Nah, it... it really doesn't. You couldn't help that and it's not like that was the only Mafia member killed by Numbered.

How does it not? I'm not talking about them.

[Nux are you even listening?]

You're talking about her. Snake lady. The one you killed. You don't gotta focus on what's in the past, Tony.

[A quiet hiss. Yes, her, he still loathes her, loves her. It's a strange muddled nightmare thinking about her and her hissing kind words still haunt his dreams.]

You can't always ignore it either.

[It doesn't just go away.]

You can't always run away.

That's all I know how to do.

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