[It's as much for himself as it is for the outside world. There are so many terrible things to feel: fear, anger, sadness, hurt . . . He doesn't like feeling those things. So he tries to go numb. That it shuts out the good feelings too is worth it, so long as the bad ones stay away. That it makes other children call you creepy or a robot and thus leaves you with no friends? Also worth it. Just keep the pain out. The world can't hurt you if you don't feel.]
It was still unfair of me.
[Nathan isn't sure he's capable of violence, even at his most angry. And frankly, he prefers it that way. Anything that separates him from his father is a good thing. He makes it a point to be different than that man. No violence. No liquor -- ever. The genetic component of alcoholism scares him and he's not eager to find out if he's subject to it. He knows logically that it's not just genetics, but it increases his risk.]
... It was, yes. [Of course Lazarus would have mentioned something. To have it kept in mind to treat him carefully. He . . . can't be upset about that. Lazarus wouldn't have -- couldn't have; Nathan had never given details on the circumstances behind the abuse -- gone in-depth about that.
[Another long pause.] ... That must have been difficult. [Putting that lightly, too.]
Voice
It was still unfair of me.
[Nathan isn't sure he's capable of violence, even at his most angry. And frankly, he prefers it that way. Anything that separates him from his father is a good thing. He makes it a point to be different than that man. No violence. No liquor -- ever. The genetic component of alcoholism scares him and he's not eager to find out if he's subject to it. He knows logically that it's not just genetics, but it increases his risk.]
... It was, yes. [Of course Lazarus would have mentioned something. To have it kept in mind to treat him carefully. He . . . can't be upset about that. Lazarus wouldn't have -- couldn't have; Nathan had never given details on the circumstances behind the abuse -- gone in-depth about that.
[Another long pause.] ... That must have been difficult. [Putting that lightly, too.]